


Darling, You've Just Gotta Believe

by Myoneloveismusic



Series: Piano 'Verse [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pianists, piano verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 14:51:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11923221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myoneloveismusic/pseuds/Myoneloveismusic
Summary: Tim has a rather upsetting performance that shakes his confidence in his ability. Luckily, Jason's there to help get him back on track and things just might work out for the better because of it.





	Darling, You've Just Gotta Believe

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm soooo happy to have another installment of the Piano Verse for you guys!
> 
> BUT! This one is kind of special because it turned into a collab with this awesome guy who wanted to make some art for this fic! So you can view the art by tumblr user universeone-ft here: http://universeone-ft.tumblr.com/post/164679057981/at-last-its-here-its-a-jaytim-collab-i-did-with
> 
> Enjoy!!!
> 
> <3 MOLIM

Tim let the last notes of the piece he was working on fade into the empty spaces of the practice room that he’d secluded himself in. He let his eyes open slowly, not even fighting the smile that was pulling at his lips. It had been a good day. He had a concert coming up and was a little nervous, but his love of the piano always seemed to override his nervousness or any uncertainty that came with performing. He found strength in the white keys of the piano and the cool touch they left on the pads of his fingers.

A knock sounded on the door of his practice room, nearly startling him. His head snapped to the side and he relaxed when he saw that it was only Steph waiting outside. He waved her inside and she grinned, pushing the door open.

“I found this sulking in the hallway looking lost,” she said before pulling Jason inside by the collar of his shirt.

He grumbled something under his breath and Tim watched as two spots of color bloomed on his cheeks. Tim grinned and turned on the piano bench so that he could face them.

“Thanks, Steph.”

She nodded and pushed Jason further into the room. “No problem. How’s the practicing going? The concert’s coming up right?”

“Yeah. Tomorrow night, actually. I’m just getting some last minute practicing in on this piano duet that we’re featuring. I’m meeting up with my partner later so we can run through it a couple more times before the big day.”

“Just don’t practice too much. You don’t want to overdo it and not have anything left for the actual concert.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I’m pretty sure that I could play this piece in my sleep by this point.”

“Well, good luck. I’ll be there cheering you on in the audience. And I’ll leave the two of you alone. Don’t get caught doing anything scandalous in the practice room,” she said before ducking out the door.

“Steph!” Tim objected, feeling himself flush at the implications. He heard her laugh before the door slid shut. Tim cleared his throat and glanced at where Jason was standing next to the wall, his own cheeks pink.

“So…” Tim started. “Got lost in the hallway, huh? Funny when you know that I’m always in this same practice room.”

“Shut up,” Jason said gently. “I came to the door, but you just seemed so focused that I didn’t want to bother you. And I know that tomorrow’s concert is a big deal and I didn’t want to do anything that might throw you off.”

“So you were just content to wait in the conservatory halls until I was done? Or were you trying to leave before seeing me at all?” Tim asked, standing from the bench.

Jason shrugged and crossed his arms. Tim smiled and walked over to him, tugging at his arms until his grudgingly let them fall to his sides. Tim wrapped his arms around Jason’s shoulders and pulled him down for a kiss, lips ticking up at the edges when Jason’s arms wrapped around his back and pulled him close.

“So,” Jason said, breaking their kiss even as his hands began to rub comforting circles into Tim’s back, “are you ready for tomorrow? Excited? Nervous?”

Tim rested his head against Jason’s shoulder and let his eyes slide shut. “I think so. I really like this piece and it’s not the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to play. It looks difficult because there are a lot of fast passages and it’s a duet, but the notes and rhythms are all easy after playing through them a few times. I think you’d enjoy this piece, as much as you continue to try and swear off classical music.”

Jason huffed in exasperation. “It’s _classical_.”

Tim smiled. As much as Jason had been against classical music when they’d started dating, Tim knew that he was slowly getting him to warm up to it. He didn’t like everything that he encountered, but there were a few pieces that he’d shown him or Jason had caught him warming up on that had captured his attention. And Jason was sweet enough to go to practically all of Tim’s performances no matter when or what they were playing.

And then there were their performances at _Treble Espresso_.

Ever since their first performance as the _Dueling Pianos_ , the customers at the shop had been begging for more and Kori hadn’t been afraid to rope Tim and Jason into playing more concerts for the local Gotham populace. Their practice sessions gave Tim a nice break from the rigors that conservatory life brought him and gave him some nice quality time with his boyfriend.

“You can keep denying it, but I know that you have a soft spot for classical.”

“Not for classical. Just for you,” Jason muttered.

Tim groaned and buried his face in Jason’s shirt. “You can’t just _say_ that.”

Jason laughed. “Come on, do you still need to practice? Or are you free to come have lunch with me?”

“I think I can step away for a few minutes. I’ll have more time to practice tonight. And if lunch with my boyfriend is involved…”

Jason tugged him towards the door. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Wait, my sheet music.”

“It’ll be here when you get back. Doesn’t everyone know that this is your practice room?”

Tim pouted. “Yeah, but I’m practicing somewhere else later and I should make sure that I have it with me.”

Jason let out a long-suffering sigh. “Fine. I will patiently wait _again_ while you collect your sheet music and pack up your things.”

Tim grinned and gave him a quick kiss before he gently shut the lid of the piano and not so gently stuffed his various papers back into his bag, slinging it over his shoulder as he went. Jason intertwined their fingers and pulled him from the practice room, barely giving Tim enough time to shut off the lights behind him.

Tim smiled as they stepped out into the sunlight. There was a cool breeze blowing through the air and fall could be sensed lingering just on the horizon with its promises of cool mornings, sweet spices, and warm sweaters. For now, he was more than happy to hang onto the lingering warmth and enjoy what he could of it. Even if that meant appreciating it from the inside because of how much time he spent with his piano.

“How are things at _Treble_?” Tim asked as they turned the corner away from the conservatory. “I know I haven’t gotten the chance to be around there much this past week with everything.”

“It’s okay. Kori and Roy want you to stop by soon. But they’ll see us when we have our next performance there. Some of the customers were asking about you, too. Wanted to know how things were going. I got some playing time in the other day. Not many people were offering up requests. I think they were satisfied to just sit back and listen to the music.”

“You weren’t giving them any previews of our next show were you?” Tim asked, nudging him.

Jason gasped and placed a hand against his chest. “I can’t believe that you’d accuse me of something like that! Just who do you think I am?!”

Tim laughed. “I think that you’re someone who gets far too excited about music and has a hard time keeping it to himself. Even when it’s supposed to be a surprise.”

“Hey, that happened one time. And it was only a snippet of what we were putting together. I’m pretty sure no one even remembered it. Or recognized what the actual song was when our performance rolled around.”

“Uh-huh, sure. And what does that say about the handful of people that came up to us after the show and made a comment about being so happy to finally hear the rest of what you’d been playing in the coffee shop?”

“You can’t prove anything, Timmy,” Jason said, pushing through the door of a small café. “I did nothing.”

Tim shook his head and rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t deny the smile that pulled at his lips whenever he was around Jason. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

Jason grinned. “You love me for my ability to woo you with my amazing piano playing.”

“Sure. Let’s go with that.”

Jason opened his mouth to protest, but Tim gave him a quick peck on the cheek and pulled him up to the counter so they could order. He grumbled under his breath, but Tim just ignored him in favor of looking over the menu board.

“I’ll have a club sandwich and an iced coffee. Jason?” he asked, already reaching for his wallet.

Jason put a hand on his to stop him. “I’ll have the Reuben and a coke, please.”

Jason pulled his own wallet free and Tim opened his mouth to protest. He handed over the bills and looked at Tim. “I brought you to lunch. Let me pay for it.”

“But you paid last time!” he objected.

Jason took the table number from the cashier and his change and turned to find an empty table, leaving Tim to scramble after him.

“I also invited you out last time, too. How about this: once you get through tomorrow night and get the chance to relax again, you can invite me out somewhere and I’ll let you pay,” he said evenly, snagging an empty booth near the back.

Tim sat down across from him, feeling slightly floored by how much thought Jason had given for him. Not that it should’ve been that much of a surprise. He’d been supportive since they started dating even if he claimed to be so anti-classical. He smiled instead.

“Okay.”

Jason raised an eyebrow at him, as though he didn’t believe him.

“I’m serious. Okay,” Tim repeated. “We can go to a movie or something. Or order pizza and have a night in. I’ve been so caught up in getting ready for this concert that I hadn’t realized how long it’s been since we’ve had some good quality time together.”

Jason shrugged. “You can’t help it. This is what you’re studying. And it’s probably going to be your future. I’m sure things are always going to get this busy around your concert times.”

“Are we still on to practice for our next _Dueling Pianos_ performance this weekend?” Tim asked as their drinks and food was set in front of them.

Jason shrugged. “If you’re up to it. I’ve got some new ideas of what we can do for our next show. And maybe something Halloween themed when October rolls around. I think Kori had mentioned doing a costume night for Halloween or a nice party for any customers who want to come in. It would be a great opportunity for us.”

Tim smiled and popped one of the chips that came with his sandwich in his mouth. “That sounds like a lot of fun! I think I might have a few ideas of pieces that we can play.”

“That sounds a little terrifying coming from you,” Jason said, narrowing his eyes.

Tim shrugged. “You already know that I have a penchant for movie soundtracks. That’s all that you need to know for now.”

“That has not made me feel better in the slightest, I’ll have you know.”

Tim smiled around his food, gaze never straying from where Jason sat across from him for even a second.

~~

Tim sighed as Jake slammed his hands against the keys of his piano once again. They’d been at this for an hour already and were going through one of their worst run-throughs yet. He could feel a stress headache coming on and he was exhausted. But he knew that he wasn’t about to get out of this rehearsal anytime soon. Not with the way Jake had been acting all night.

“This needs to be perfect! We’re performing this tomorrow for fuck’s sake!” he burst, giving Tim a sharp look.

“Look, Jake-“

“Don’t ‘look, Jake’ me,” he snarled.

“ _Look_ , it’s going to be fine. It’s just the pre-concert nerves kicking in. We’ve played it practically perfect every rehearsal before this one. I’m sure that we just need a break and a minute to collect ourselves and it’s going to be fine. There’s really nothing to worry about.”

Tim could already feel his nerves mounting. This was something that had never happened to him before. Sure, it was his first time performing a piano duet with Jake in concert, but every show that he’d ever performed had never made his stomach twist in knots at the thought of being in front of an audeince. He’d always managed to play nearly everything correctly the days leading up to his concerts whether they were with full symphonies, small chamber orchestras, or even solos for competitions or showcases.

“That’s what you think,” he growled, slamming his hands against the keys again before standing abruptly and walking from the stage. The sound grated at his ears and made Tim want to console the piano for the poor treatment and respect that Jake was showing it. No instrument deserved that.

Tim was glad that they had the space alone that night to practice. The symphony had been there earlier that day for their rehearsal, but they wouldn’t all come together again until the next evening before the concert. He just hoped that they could get to a good enough place that would leave both of them satisfied and allow them to sleep that night. Sleep deprivation before a concert wasn’t something that he wanted to experience for the first time. Even if he could play all of the pieces in his sleep.

He reached down and snagged the water bottle that he’d stashed under his piano bench. He took a shaky sip, hoping the water would be enough to settle his nerves that were trying to cloud his ability to think rationally. This wasn’t the way he was used to practicing. This wasn’t the way he was used to feeling around the piano. Hell, he didn’t think he’d ever been this uneasy in the presence of his instrument before.

Practicing with Jason, hell, practicing with anyone else never left him feeling like this. It made him wonder what Jake had done to get the other half of the duet. Tim had practiced his ass off for it. Jason had watched him and listened when he was sure that it all sounded terrible. Jason had been the first person he’d texted when he found out that he got it.

The memory made Tim smile and brought back a bit of his calm. He took a deep breath and let it out, allowing the tension to fall from his shoulders. He felt empowered, like they could really do this. They just needed to calm down and take it again, that was all.

“What are you smiling about?” Jake’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he looked up to find him standing next to his piano again. Tim hadn’t even heard him come back in.

He set his water back on the floor. “Nothing. It’s not important. Are you ready to try again? I think that we can really do it this time.”

“Yeah, fine,” he said, sitting down on his bench.

“Hey, Jake.” Tim waited until he was looking at him before continuing. “It’s going to be fine. We’ll get this right tomorrow. I know that we will. We both just need to stay calm and keep focused on the music. We’ve practiced enough. We know it. Now we just have to play it.”

He rolled his eyes and placed his hands over the keys. “Whatever. If that’s what makes you feel better, fine. Let’s just get this right. I don’t want to be stuck here any longer than I have to be.”

“Okay…one, and, two and,” Tim counted off quietly.

The up-tempo notes filled the air quickly. It started off perfectly. Too bad for them, that’s how it had been going all night. They always managed to begin in sync, but something fell apart along the way. Tim just hoped that it would stay together this time. He wasn’t looking forward to the outburst that would no doubt come if they didn’t manage to get through almost the whole piece intact.

If they could just make it to the end, everything would be all right.

Tim just hoped that he wouldn’t be repeating the same thing to himself the next night when they were playing in front of a full auditorium, the entire symphony, and several of the conservatory faculty and funding board.

~~

Tim took a deep breath as he shuffled his music around. A cough out in the audience caught his attention in the silence. His bowtie felt too tight and he thought he was about to suffocate in the white button-down and his black tuxedo jacket.

Everything had gone practically perfect so far. Only someone who knew the pieces inside-out or had a score in front of them would’ve been able to tell when something had been off or gone wrong. But now it was time for the one piece that he’d been nervous about since the night before: [Weiner’s _Fox Dance_ for piano duet.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-X_FFF63Um0)

Jason had known that something was wrong when they’d talked last night after his rehearsal. He hadn’t been able to come out and say that it was because of Jake’s attitude. Jason knew that this performance was important to him. Every piano performance was important to him.

They could do this. Tim knew they could do this.

Steeling himself and placing his hands over the keys, Tim looked up at their conductor who was watching him and Jake with a smile on his face. He’d picked them himself. Had gone through all of the piano auditions and picked the two pianists who he thought had performed the best. Tim really hoped they weren’t about to let him down and crush the dreams that he’d had about this performance. If the stories that he’d heard were true, he’d been waiting months, if not years, to bring this piece to life in front of an audience.

With two quick movements, it began. Tim’s upper hand moved rapidly to accommodate the notes. It began as it had every time the night before: they were perfectly in sync. The treble and bass lines matching up how they were designed to in the true manner of a pianist’s duet.

Hums of interest reached his ears from the audience, but he chose to ignore them. He was going to stay in time with the conductor and with Jake even if it killed him.

He grit his teeth as they moved on to the next section, the rhythms becoming more difficult as they hit the off-beats of the faster time signature. He chanced a glance over at Jake and saw him becoming more hunched over the keys. Tim fought down the wave of desperation that began to rise in him. They weren’t even halfway through the piece and he looked like he was ready to fall apart.

_“Not yet,”_ Tim mentally begged. _“Please don’t let it happen yet.”_

Tim took a steadying breath as they returned to a more familiar motif in the piece. They were close. They just needed to hold on a little longer. His gaze slowly moved back to the conductor who was looking far too proud when they’d only just made it halfway.

Then everything started to fall apart. One of the big things about the second half of the piece was the increasing number of notes that were played off the beat. It created a challenge for the both the pianists to match up the timing with themselves and the conductor.

Jake started to slip out of time and Tim knew that any effort he made to try and keep with him would fail as Jake’s own hands became out of sync.

The smile slowly disappeared from their conductor’s face and his expression became more pinched. Tim kept his eyes on the baton, not willing to see what else he was feeling. He nearly sobbed when they made it to the slower chunk of the song, but even that was out of tempo when Jake came in too early on the treble line.

Tim wanted this to stop. He wanted so desperately to just let his hands fall away until silence filled the concert hall. He wanted to apologize to everyone in the audience. He wanted to apologize to the conductor and even the orchestra because none of them deserved to bear witness to this.

White noise filled Tim’s ears as they played the last several bars. He didn’t even know what notes he was playing anymore. His hands felt heavy when he was allowed to lift them from the keys and let them fall to the sides. He stood numbly when the conductor directed them to do so. He saw more than heard the audience applauding them, but from some of the looks that he could catch through the blinding lights, it was more out of confusion than anything.

The audience was dissatisfied and confused, their conductor was unhappy, and Tim didn’t even want to know what Jake was feeling in that moment. Tim was just really glad that the concert was over because he really didn’t think that he would’ve been able to make it through another piece without really falling apart. He needed nothing more in that moment to just go home and curl up in bed and forget that everything existed.

Tim nearly sprinted from the stage when they were dismissed. He nearly made it to the side door before he was roughly pulled to the side and into a dark room and slammed into a wall. Tim fumbled for the light switch and was brought face-to-face with Jake who was absolutely seething.

“You ruined _everything_ ,” he hissed.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Tim argued. His sadness was quickly becoming replaced with anger, something he’d rather be experiencing in that moment.

“I’m talking about that shitty performance. That piece was supposed to be perfect and it was complete shit.”

“I’m well aware of that fact! Now, I’d rather go home and try to forget that just happened. That was one of the worst performances of my life.”

Jake pushed him harder against the wall. “I can’t believe he gave that part to you. You ruined everything!”

“Me?!” Tim asked in disbelief.

“Yes! You couldn’t even keep yourself in time with the conductor. The second things got to the more difficult sections you totally fell apart. You call yourself a performer?! You’re never going to be more than a wannabe professional.” Jake pushed himself away and stalked towards the door. “You might want to start rethinking your life or goals because you’ve seriously got no future as a pianist.”

He slipped out the door and left Tim alone. Tim stared at where he’d been, his words ringing violently in his ears. He wanted to go back to the white noise from earlier, because that would’ve been so much better than this new kind of hell. He covered his ears and slid to the floor, dimly aware that he was probably shaking from it all.

A vibrating from his pocket caught his attention and he pulled out his phone to find a text from Jason.

_Jason: Tim are you okay?_

He watched as another message came through.

_Jason: You seemed a bit upset after that last piece._

_Jason: I just want to know if you’re okay and if there’s something that I can do._

_Jason: Please, Tim._

His phone started vibrating in earnest as Jason tried to call him. Tim ignored it and left his phone to the side. He felt hollow inside and stared at the carpet in front of him. He was dimly aware of the fact that he needed to leave, but he wasn’t ready to be confronted by anyone. He just wanted to be left alone.

~~

After an hour of waiting around inside the concert hall, Tim finally walked through the side door of the building. The sidewalks were empty which he was more than grateful for. He wasn’t in the mood to run into anyone, let alone someone who’d been at the concert.

The walk back to his apartment was lonely. He got a few more texts and another call from Jason along the way, but he ignored them all. He wasn’t ready to talk to him yet. Not in the face of that embarrassment. He knew that it wasn’t his fault. It couldn’t be. But Jake’s voice was still there in the back of his mind, telling him that he was the cause of everything.

Maybe he was right and Tim had done something that had messed them both up. But...their conductor would’ve mentioned it before during rehearsal if that had been the case, wouldn’t he?

Tim stared at where his dress shoes moved across the sidewalk in front of him. Maybe he wasn’t cut out for being a professional pianist after all. Maybe he should just give up and do what his dad wanted him to do and go to college for business or engineering. Something that would give him a ‘real job.’

“Tim!”

His head snapped up in shock. Jason and Steph were hurrying towards him, still dressed nicely from the concert. Tim was dimly aware that Steph was running towards him in heels.

“Tim are you okay? You weren’t answering your phone or responding to the texts that I sent you,” Jason said, searching his face.

“We wanted to make sure that you were okay,” Steph added. “When you didn’t come out after the concert finished, we were worried something had happened.”

“We came over here and when you didn’t answer the buzzer we thought you might not be back yet and decided to wait.”

Tim tried to put on a reassuring smile, but if Steph and Jason’s expressions were anything to go by, they didn’t buy it at all.

“I just need some time to be alone, okay?” he said, skirting past them so he could get closer to his apartment complex. “I’ll text you later, I promise.”

“Tim…” Jason said, taking a step towards him.

“Really, Jason. I’m fine. I’ll text you later.”

Before either of them could put up another argument, Tim pulled his key from his pocket and let himself into the building. He hurried up the stairs to his apartment and leaned heavily against the door as soon as he was inside.

He toed off his shoes and left the lights off as he walked through his apartment, pointedly ignoring where his piano sat in the corner. He didn’t think that he could handle looking at it in that moment. Not when everything was still so fresh and he’d been cut so raw.

Tim pulled his bowtie loose as walked through the hall, letting it fall to the floor with his suit jacket. He unbuttoned his pants and let them pool around his ankles before he reached the doorway to his bedroom, stepping out of them and working on popping the buttons of his shirt free. He let the fabric slide free from his shoulders and arms to the floor before he sat on the edge of the bed to pull of his socks.

He slid underneath the covers and sighed as they offered a comforting weight over his body. He shut everything from his mind and let sleep take him easily, hoping that it would be dreamless and long for once.

~~

Tim blinked his eyes open slowly. When he registered how bright it was in his room, he sat up in a panic to check the time. He got as far as throwing the blankets off of him in an effort to get up and hopefully make it to his later classes at the conservatory when everything from the night before came flooding back to him.

He let himself fall back onto the mattress as all concern about his classes and playing the piano drained out of him. He wasn’t ready to face everyone who’d seen what happened last night. And even if they hadn’t seen it themselves, they would’ve heard about it by now. Gossip rarely stayed in one place long when it came to musicians. He didn’t want any sympathetic looks, he didn’t want to see Steph, and he definitely didn’t want to see Jake. He’d be happy never seeing him again.

The muffled sound of what could only be his phone vibrating caught his attention and he reluctantly pulled himself from his bed. He shuffled over to his door and snagged his pants from where he’d left them the night before, pulling his phone from his pocket. He had several missed calls and texts from both Steph and Jason.

He scrolled through them hesitantly, unsure if he deserved their sympathy or their concern. He left his phone alone in favor of pulling on a pair of sweatpants so he could venture further down the hallway to the kitchen for some coffee.

He froze when he made it to the living room and caught sight of his piano. It was shining in the sunlight: gleaming and as beautiful as ever. The sight of it made Tim’s stomach churn. He couldn’t look at it. He didn’t even want to think about trying to play it.

He picked up his headphones from where they were sitting on the coffee table and plugged them into his phone, jamming the earbuds into his ears. He scrolled through his music as he shuffled into his kitchen and put on the one [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcrAD35_P70) that might even begin to help him get through the emotional turmoil that he was experiencing.

The music flooded his ears quickly, breaking through the silence that he’d been living in. He slipped a cup into his Keurig and got a mug ready below the spout before switching the machine on. He leaned against the counter as the music progressed, feeling more and more desperate as it continued.

There weren’t many times when the lyrics hit so close to home, but he was always aware of the big moments when he needed to pull it out. He just wished that for once he could actually bring someone in instead of having to rely on the lyrics of a song to make him feel better.

Before he even realized what was happening, the tears were streaming down his cheeks and he was taking shuddering breaths. He slid down against the cabinets and curled against his knees, desperate for the pain and humiliation of the night before to go away.

His phone vibrated again and caught his attention. It was another text from Jason.

_Jason: Tim are you okay?_

_Jason: I know that you said you’d text me later, but I just want to make sure you’re alright._

_Jason: I know what you must be experiencing right now can’t be easy, but I want to be here for you._

_Jason: Please talk to me, Tim._

_Jason: I don’t want you to feel like you have to shut me out like this._

_Jason: I care about you so much and it hurts to see you this way so please text me back._

_Jason: Tim, please talk to me._

_Jason: I’m really worried about you._

_Jason: Steph called me and said you hadn’t responded to her either._

_Jason: I’m getting scared, Tim. I need to know that you’re there even if you aren’t okay._

The messages brought a fresh wave of tears as the song reached its climax. He didn’t deserve Jason’s kindness.

Tim gasped when his phone began to vibrate violently in his hand. He nearly dropped it and managed to keep it from sliding out of his grip just barely, but the movements caused him to accept the call.

“Tim?” Jason’s voice rang out.

Tim’s finger hovered over the ‘end call’ button.

“Please don’t hang up on me.”

Tim sighed and let his hand fall to the side.

“Look, I know that you’re not okay. Steph said that this has never happened after one of your performances before and I understand if you’re hurting, but I want to be there for you. Even if I can’t do much more than watch a shitty movie and eat pizza and ice cream, I want to do something for you. I…care about you a lot. I really do. And if I feel like I’m going to break after seeing the way you looked last night, then I can’t imagine what you must really be going through.”

“Jason,” Tim said tiredly. His voice sounded thick and scratchy from exhaustion. Jason could probably tell that he’d been crying.

“Tim…” he said hesitantly. “Please.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“Can you talk to me? Please? I want to make sure that you’re okay.”

“Jason,” Tim took a shaky breath. He was already getting choked up and he hadn’t even recounted what had happened the night before. He wasn’t going to get out of this without crying again. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Baby, please…”

“Jason…please just listen. It’s going to be hard enough to get this out.”

He was silent for a moment. “Okay.”

“Last night was terrible. I’ve never given a performance so bad in my life. Or lived through one. I’m not sure what’s true anymore: if it was Jake who threw off the timing or if it was my fault, but…” he took a breath, glad that Jason was listening silently while he worked through everything that had happened. “I just wanted to get out after everything. I wanted to leave and get back to my place, but Jake confronted me.

“He said that it was all my fault that everything had gone as badly as it did. And that I had no hope of becoming a professional pianist. I knew that he was wrong and there was no way that I could’ve messed up that performance that badly, but as soon as he left…as soon as I was alone…”

“Those words suddenly became the truest thing that you’ve ever been told.”

“Exactly,” Tim said, trying to hold back a sob and only managing to cut it short. He placed a shaking hand over his mouth and took as steadying a breath as he was able. “I feel like there’s nothing that I can do. That I’m not good enough and I’m never going to be good enough.”

“Tim…you are an amazing pianist. Ever since I saw you play that first time in _Treble Espresso_ I was blown away by your skill. And it was exciting. You were beautiful. You have more than enough talent to make it as a professional. I know that you can do it as long as you have the drive to keep going. That doesn’t mean that those things that Jake said didn’t hurt and your confidence hasn’t been upset. I want to help you get back to yourself. I want you to still be able to love music and to love playing the piano.”

Silence fell between the two of them. Tim wiped at his tears furiously, trying to get them to stop even as more kept coming. The smell of his coffee finally having been brewed, brought him back to his surroundings and he pulled himself onto shaky legs.

His gaze was immediately drawn to his piano and everything inside of him seized up at the sight of it. He dropped his gaze to the phone in his hand. Took in Jason’s crazy picture and found a small amount of stability in the ocean of emotions that had been his constant from the night before.

“Can you come over? Please?” Tim asked, quietly.

“Of course!” Jason answered quickly. “I’ll be there in 20.”

“Thanks,” Tim said before ending the call. He grabbed his coffee and headed back in the direction of his bedroom, gathering the pieces of his tuxedo as he went.

~~

Tim let out a shaky breath when the knock sounded on his apartment door. He pulled it open hesitantly, stepping back to let Jason in.

“Hey,” he said, quietly, taking the extra time to shut the door so he wouldn’t have to face the reason why Jason was there.

Warm arms wrapped around his torso and pulled him against Jason’s chest. Tim sagged against him, unable to keep up his poorly crafted façade any longer.

“I’m sorry, Tim,” Jason murmured softly.

Tim turned in his arms and buried his face in his shirt, twisting the fabric in his hands.

“Steph told me that your conductor from last night was looking for you. Apparently he chewed out Jake for his performance and wanted to thank you for doing your best even though the circumstances weren’t ideal.”

“I know you’re trying to help, but that’s really not helping right now.”

“Sorry, Tim…I just…I want to help this get better.”

“I don’t know how that’s going to happen. I can’t even bring myself to look at a piano right now, let alone play it.”

Jason shifted against him in a way that suggested he was looking into the living room where the piano sat.

“You may not be able to play it, but I might have just the thing.”

Tim reluctantly followed him into the living room. Jason sat him down on the couch, not intentionally facing him away from the instrument, but in a way that allowed him to sit however he was comfortable. Tim sagged against the back of the couch and looked down at where his hands were resting in his lap. He listened as Jason gently moved the piano bench and lifted the lid covering the keys.

He took a deep breath before the [familiar chords started](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6DTIjWGAf4). Tim’s breath caught and his eyes widened. Even though Jason wasn’t singing the words, they came to Tim’s mind easily since he’d listened to the song so many times.

For a couple weeks he’d been pestering Jason to include _Serenade for Two_ in one of their _Dueling Pianos_ sessions, but Jason had always brushed it off, saying they could learn it later.

Tim lifted his head and looked over at where Jason was playing. He was moving slightly with the movements and had his eyes trained on the keys. He had the finesse of someone who’d played the song hundreds of times before and was doing something second nature even as he tried to seem like this was something that he hadn’t spent time practicing.

Tim slowly stood from his spot on the couch and walked over to the piano. He watched Jason for a few more seconds before he found the strength to speak.

“How…” he croaked and cleared his throat. “How long have you been working on that?”

Jason didn’t even pause as he answered. “Since you told me that you wanted to play it and I went home and listened to it for the first time. I know that you wanted to play it together, but I wanted to surprise you with it. I hadn’t figured out when yet, but now seemed as good a time as any. I know that you already know how to play it anyway,” he added with a small chuckle.

Tim reached out hesitantly, wanting to close the gap between them, but suddenly uncertain. He placed his hand over Jason’s once he reached the climax of the song, making him pause. Jason looked up at him and waited patiently.

Tim nudged him to the side and Jason made room on the piano bench for him. Tim took a shaky breath and hesitantly reached out with his hands, placing them on the keys for the chord that Jason would’ve gone to if Tim had let him continue. He gently pressed down and let instinct and memory take over.

Emotions welled up within him quickly: the pain from the concert the night before, his fears that he’d never be good enough, the love that he held for Jason, and the love that he’d almost always had when it came to playing the piano.

Tim’s hands stuttered as he fought to maintain his composure, but he didn’t let the mistake bother him because he was playing and that’s all that mattered.

He finished the song easily, letting the last notes fade into the past. His let his eyes open slowly when Jason’s hand came up to cup his cheek. He let himself be guided until he was staring in Jason’s eyes that were shining back at him.

“Jason…I…” Tim started.

Jason shook his head and gently kissed him.

“Thank you,” Tim said quietly when they parted.

“Tim…There’s something that I’ve wanted to say for a little while now-“

“I love you, Jason,” Tim interrupted, smiling a little at Jason’s expression as it froze.

Jason chuckled. “You took the words right out of my mouth.”

Jason kissed him again.

“Are you going to be okay?”

He paused. He felt raw and exposed in everything that he wanted, but he knew that it was a start. It would take time to fully heal, but the future didn’t seem quite as foreboding.

Tim nodded. “It still hurts…what happened, but…it doesn’t seem as unbearable anymore.”

“Good, because I know that I’d never forgive myself if I let you give up on this.”

Tim smiled a little brighter and kissed Jason again.

~~

Tim took a deep breath as he stared up at the front of the conservatory. Jason had convinced him to go in for his afternoon classes and he wasn’t sure he was entirely ready to be here, but he had to come back eventually. And it would be better to get the humiliation over with sooner rather than later.

He pushed through the doors and was immediately hit with the comforting scent of old books and yellow sheet music that seemed to permeate everything. It never really made sense why the building smelled like that when only a fraction of the building was used to store music selections, but it was welcome after the night before.

He gripped the strap of his bag tightly and forced his feet to move forward towards the staircase. His theory class was on one of the upper levels and he wasn’t sure who he was going to run into yet.

“Tim?”

He froze and cringed at the sound of his name, turning carefully as he came face to face with Mr. Stewart: his conductor from the night before.

“Mr. Stewart.”

“I was hoping to speak with you this morning, but your friend Stephanie said that you were ill.”

Tim rubbed the back his neck, embarrassed. “I didn’t wake up feeling very well this morning. Upset stomach. But I’m feeling much better now.”

Mr. Stewart smiled gently. “I’m pleased to hear it. I wanted to talk to you about last night.”

Tim opened his mouth to apologize, but Mr. Stewart held up a hand.

“I’m truly sorry that you were forced to experience a performance like that. The times when we practiced during rehearsal would never have led me to believe that Jake could get so nervous in front of an audience that he would be thrown off so badly. I want to thank you for doing everything in your power to try and keep the performance together. I’m hoping to perform the piece again and am looking for another duet partner for you. However, since you have experience with the piece, if there’s anyone you know who would make a good fit, I’m more than willing to take suggestions and have them audition.”

Tim stared at him, mind racing. “I…um…thank you, Mr. Stewart.”

“You’re very welcome, Tim.”

“Wait!” Tim exclaimed as he turned to leave. He turned back to face him with a raised eyebrow. “For the auditions…would it have to be someone who’s studying at the conservatory, or would you be willing to bring in an outside pianist as long as they’re experienced?”

Mr. Stewart’s eyebrows furrowed in thought. “I’d have to audition them either way and I might need to get the permission of some other faculty, but if they’re competent and able to perform in front of an audience, I don’t see why we couldn’t make that happen. May I ask who you have in mind?”

“It’s someone who I play with often. His name’s Jason Todd and we perform together at _Treble Espresso_ once or twice each month. He does really well in front of audiences. He doesn’t usually play classical music, but I might be able to convince him to take a chance on this.”

Mr. Steward started for a moment before he smiled gently.

“Give him the audition section that you have and let him practice it. I’ll see what I can do about arranging something with the faculty, but make sure that he’s aware that they might want to sit in on his audition.”

“I’ll let him know. Thank you, Mr. Stewart.”

“It’s my pleasure, Tim. Hurry off to class. I don’t want to derail you any further.”

Tim watched him walk away and felt a new sense of hope bloom in him.

Now all he needed to do was try and convince Jason to do the audition.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback, comments, and kudos are always loved and appreciated! 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr as my-one-love-is-music.tumblr.com
> 
> Or follow me on twitter at twitter.com/m_o_l_i_m


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